I am ready to have children. That's how bored I am, ladies and gentlemen. Don't let this happen to you! When boredom has brought you to the point where you're ready to carry around godknowshowmany extra pounds on your belly for months on end, then squeeze a basketball sized lump out through a hole on your body about the girth of a finger (figuratively speaking, obviously) and ending up with a screaming, howling shit-machine you know you really, really need to find something to do with your life. And fast.

I had another tanning appointment today. Nothing like a bit of burning of the flesh to get the party started. I didn't manage to do much else today. Had some places to go, but didn't (and then I whine about being bored...sheesh) end up going anywhere as I was in a comatose state well into the afternoon. And once I was out of that comfortably numb state, I was just too damn lazy.
Had to cancel on my mormon babies too, which was devastating. Who knew you could get so attached to blind idealism in a k-mart suit and tie? Simply adorable.

My mom thinks I'm having a torrid affair with them, too which is just hysterical. They kept asking why I was getting them over here and what it was for, etc and I never really gave them any answers either way. Then the last time they came over, my parents left a few minutes earlier and as soon as they were driving away from the house they saw the mormons come swooshing out of a nearby alley and head straight up the driveway. My mom also couldn't help but notice that they are devilishly handsome specimens of men, so it seemed to fall into place for her right then and there. Obviously a lusty affair is going on. Now were I to take any hints from that as to how my mother's mind works, this could be terrifying for me. But as I've decided not to, I find it all rather amusing. And I must say.... I also find the thought somewhat appealing.