Relationships just aren't what they used to be, you know? Speaking from personal experience, my lovelife has strayed far from it's former rosy path and my knight in shining armor is beginning to far more resemble death on a drinking bender than anything else.
At the risk of sounding bitter, I'll go out on a limb here and say that guys are such an utter disappointment that it's an absolute wonder that the species has survived as long as it has. Thank god science is taking steps to ensure that in the future women can resort to mating with popsicles and vibrators. Honestly, all you decent men out there in the world (yes, that means you three over there), you need to take some responsability for your gender. Staying within my field of expertise, I'll take my exes for example. Bunch of washed up, mentally ill skid marks on society that they are. You need to take note that these men aren't helping your case any and if you had a lick of sense you take immediate steps to ensure their elimination from the flock to prevent them from further polluting your reputation. It has gotten to the point that having good taste in men is equivalent to being a lesbian. At least lesbians don't have to deal with the myth which festers in men's heads that "it ain't the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean". Give me a break. Give. Me. A. Break. Give me a break! Let it be known from here on in and forever more that whoever came up with that was a severely delusional, poorly endowed man who was in addition so full of crap that it probably killed him in the end.

There. Now that's been said.

Where was I? Ahh, yes... relationships...

Today's modern woman has no choice but to put her ever precious lovelife at the mercy of Bill Gates and venture online to find suitable prospects for the breeding of screaming shit-machines. Where do we go? Yahoo chat, of course. Now, before any more is said, I have to just interject that I love Yahoo chat. You can scour the earth with all the might God has bestowed upon you but I can honestly promise you that you will never find a group of people that possess a more natural refinement and polish than those individuals gathered on Yahoo chat. What woman has not been courted by a dashing, mediterranean tall-dark-and-handsome type with something along these lines?

"Hunni!! I lov you. Hunni. Talk to me. BUZZ! Talk to me! Hunni. U r so sexay. I love you. I love to see sexy girl pussy. Hallo? BUZZ! R u wet? BUZZ! Why r u not talk to me? R u mad at me?"

Is there anything on earth that makes a girl's heart beat faster? Is there anything more likely to soak through a pair of underwear in a New York minute, I ask you dear friends and readers? Nothing spells "I AM MR. RIGHT" more than a man with a better grasp on his unit than on his spelling, with his pants around his ankles on webcam.

Now now kids...lets not get judgemental. We all masturbate. I'm sure that camera was just turned on by accident. No one would REALLY do that on purpose, now would they?

I guess they haven't learned the age old, time honored truth down there in Egypt yet. Why buy the butcher when he's giving the sausage away for free?