I was walking down the street by my house today and before I even knew it, I had bent down and picked up a rock that was laying at my feet. I wondered why the hell I’d done that as I rolled the small rock between my fingers and kept walking. I started thinking that maybe every significant event in our lives is dictated by something entirely insignificant we do without even thinking about it. Maybe every major, life altering event was kicked off way before it ever happened to us. And maybe, just maybe I just changed my life forever. We have all gone through thinking “I shouldn’t have taken this street”, “I should never have made an appointment for today” but what if it was inevitable? What if it had all already been decided by some minor event we didn’t even notice? What if it all ties back to “The Rock”? And no, I don’t mean the greased up homo wrestler. You know you were thinking it. Shut up.

Ok, I lost my train of thought. Thank god I fell off of that horrendous pseudo-philosophical train before it crashed. Don’t you just hate reading crap like that? You pick up a book and it is basically brimming with the nonsense of some uppity New York writer who thinks that just because they don’t wash their hair and had no friends in college, they’re elevated over the rest of mankind and can therefore talk down their noses at us lowly masses who are immune to the miraculous fabulousness of Moby’s bald ass. You know them. They hate pop-culture and fashion and think it’s horrendous how everyone has to be cast into one mold. And they’re right. It’s horrendous. No one should be allowed to wax their privates and get manicures. We should all have mullets and wear second hand clothes. We can’t allow ourselves to be made to fit some stereotype. They’re free. They’re liberated. I’m truly envious. Every single person out of the fifty million people walking around with a mullet in boxer boots and huge plastic multi color jewelery had the truly unique, individual inspiration to wear that and only that and is NOT, I repeat, IS NOT a dedicated follower of fashion like the rest of us.

Kiss. My. Ass.

Now this is not to be mistaken as a put down to those people actually following the mullethead, ‘80s clothes fashion. Following fashion is different than following fashion coz you’re blind to what you’re doing and think you’re above following fashion.