Good morning/evening/whatever to you, devoted reader. Glad to see you've decided to rejoin the masses currently enjoying my genious writing efforts. I would like to point out the guestbook to the left and strongly encourage you to leave your big, muddy footprint in there so I can begin tracing your every movement like the derranged stalker that I am. And for those of you who are not newcomers, don't kid yourselves. You know I mean you as well.
Well, I now have a brand spankin new niece in this world. Upon meeting this little creature (who is about the size of a field mouse), I was flooded with brilliant ideas for a name for her. They were met with dull ears unfortunately, but I have not yet given up. The happy mother and father have their eye on my digital camera to take pictures of the baby for relatives fortunate enough to be living in warmer climates than here, I am considering holding it hostage in exchange for baby naming privileges. My mother is pushing for the baby to be named after her. I, in turn, am now pushing for it to be named after Margaret Thatcher, the iron lady we all loved to hate during her fortunately long gone days of glory.
Me, my sister and my brother in law took it upon ourselves to embarge on the impossible task of cleaning out my brother's apartment for the arrival of the newborn. After being wheeled out of there on stretchers approximately 10 hours later we went to see a movie, About Schmidt. Seeing as it's not in my nature to plug anyone or anything on my website, I probably shouldn't. But seeing as it's also in my nature to go against all that is in my nature, I shall do it anyway. About Schmidt: See it. It's gud. It r rox. Well! That's sorted then.
Detectives Mormon 1 and Mormon 2 somehow managed to dig up my cell phone number, which I certainly never gave to them and have called me a few times due to their newfound burning desire to come over and "hang out", although discussions are over and I legally should be bawling my eyes out over the loss of their ever-genuine friendship by now. Said cell phone number is also somewhat unlisted, which makes their accomplishment all the more astonishing. You have done me proud, mormon boys! A future within the darkened hall of alternative science awaits you, should you ever tire of the burning bosoms and stylish 10 speed bicycles. I have been putting together quite the list of "things I find wrong with mormonism", complete with some very tough questions I will expect them to answer to help them along the way. So come Thursday, either they'll be out of the cult or I'll be found face down in a ditch somewhere, silenced for the greater good. Place your bets people, time's a wasting!