This is just too damn sad. Now that the missionaries are gone, I realise that I no longer have anything to write about. The fact that they're gone from my life is obviously very sad, but far far sadder is the fact that they left it as empty as they found it. If anyone has any ideas for new madcap science experiments, he/she would be strongly advised to email them immediately to yours truly and thereby delaying any possible suicide attempts and/or spontaneous combustion from true and unhinged boredom.

my email: mmmia@mad.scientist.com

And yes, that's a real email address. No porn! Unless it's funny porn. Then just make sure that it's not a whole lot of porn. Unless it's a lot of funny porn.

My sister in law was rushed into the delivery room about half an hour ago, giving birth to yet another spawn from this very bloodline. Oh yes. Consider this a warning, folks. For my soon-to-be beloved niece's sake however, I hope her good catholic mother's will be the dominant genes. Otherwise, watch out world coz we're growing in numbers. I will train her dilligently to become a master of science, she and my three little nephews will dominate the earth with unspeakable experiments. I do have another niece though, but she doesn't count due to haggardly old age and limited contact with me (probably for the best).

I must go now to plan the babies' victorial walk into power and toast with the mirror to my brilliant scheme. On ruthlessness alone we'll march on to glory! Or to the tv remote and substance abuse. Whichever comes along first...

That really was a terrible thing to say about a baby. I take that back.

Backspace button? What backspace button?