Now on this far better side of the planet, doors are locked by turning the key to the left and unlocked by turning it back to the right. Now, I ask you dear readers, in loopy Australia where things are the other way around...is this too reversed down under? There is no point to my deliberations, before you ask. It's just something that's been bothering me and distracting me from showering in unhinged boredom, as I do.

A group of US congressmen in Washington DC came up with the idea to ask their citizens to boycott french wine and instead resort to drinking the sewage waste that Washington state sells as wine. President Bush also announced that on the in-flight menu in Air Force one, President Bushwhacky's humble airplane, french fries have now been replaced by "liberty fries" which are essentially the same thing, but now that "french" is essentially a dirty, dirty word in the almighty US of A new words that reek of propaganda must now replace it. Do you think that before long we'll get to hear about a "freedom kiss" and a "savior tickler"? Although "Bush tickler" does have something of a ring to it and is also quite explanatory. Incidentally, the word "french" has been used to apologize for the use of improper words, i.e "pardon my french". Which language will we be pardoning from now on, I ask? Pardon my ... spanish? swedish? swahili? english with an australian accent? Is anyone else being given the heebie jeebies by all this propaganda raining over us these days? They're better off just shutting the fuck up, they'd at least sound a little less silly. Their silliness comes across clearly enough in their actions without it being spelled out for us in the form of "liberty fries". Please cut the fuckin shit....pardon my FRENCH. Yes, I said it! You imperialistic bastards may take my life, but you will never take my freedom to eat, drink and speak french. Although speaking french has never been my strongest side I shall make it my business to now make it so. Viva la revolution (et le champagne)!!