There is this guy I am familiar with and his girlfriend is currently with child. After having the extreme misfortune of finding myself in conversation with this cat during a recent barvisit, I started to wonder; what in the hell does his girlfriend see in him? This guy makes Clint Eastwood look happy and sociable. Now I am a world loathing sad sack, this I know. But I don't have anything on this guy! Despite my many declarations about hating life and just about everything else, I am still a friendly person who likes to laugh. This guy... well, lets just say he dines on the other end of the happy table. The memory he left me with on Sunday was as precious as it was endearing when he referred to me and a couple of friends as "whores" because we made the grave error of being seen speaking to a few people of the penis persuasion. No matter who is talking to this man, be it his very best friend or his mortal enemy, he has the same attitude (can briefly be summed up as: I HATE YOU) and demeanor towards them. So naturally, my foggy mind started to try to work out what his rather sweet little girlfriend sees in him. By any stretch of the imagination, this behavior can not be considered attractive in any way. And then it hit me. She likes him simply because he likes her. Being liked by somebody who generally hates everyone and their entire bloodline must speak volumes about your own merit and likeability. Being able to make someone who seemingly would rather slurp rancid tuna salad out of his own ass than spend a moment with another breathing human being want to lay down and sleep next to you every single night must be a rush. He hates everyone but he loves me and therefore, I rule. It's so simple and means so much more than being loved by an actual fun and likable person.

After coming to this conclusion I've decided to change my ways. I too wish to become a living, breathing pain in the backside and make everyone around me sense my undulled hatred towards them at all times. And when I've accomplished this, I figure I can take my pick of any man alive. I'll laugh at his jokes and his jokes alone and bada bing, bada boom... I've mated for life with an irresistable, yet slightly deceived, partner. It's all so simple. Just so simple...

Now, before I sign off and retreat back to my lair I want to make it very clear that I am sorely disappointed in you readers. You are losing all credibility as internet geeks and my affection for you has slowly started to wear off. You must make your presence here known by signing the guestbook with little comments every time you stop by or I shall be motivated to write no more. Let this be a warning to you!