Things move in circles, ladies and gentlemen. Oh yes. Write this down. It has been tried and tested and posted on the internet. And as we all know, only absolute truths get posted on the internet. Kind of like that Britney Spears/Anna Kournikova lesbian porn video. Talk about an absolute shocking truth! Sheesh!
Anyway... where was I? Oh yes. Circles. You all remember last winter, don't you? And by that I don't mean your own exciting last winters, I mean the perspective which was splattered across these here respective pages. MY last winter. Where I spent months and months just laying around with little to do but scratching myself in places where respectable young women should never scratch themselves. Thankfully I was too lazy to move my arm to scratch myself in that manner. And for that reason my virtue is forever endebtted to my laziness. At the end of that winter however, a lovely summer of monotonous work and bad boyfriends ensued. And while I know that doesn't sound at all terrific, I have to say that I consider it the highlight of my year and long for it's return. Stupidly I thought my life would no longer be as boring as it was before. This was before my epiphany. Things move in circles. Oh yes. You may think you're out of that boring rut. You're not. You're not out of it at all. You've just moved past it temporarily. But believe you me, my precious little darling... you're headed right back there.
In other news, I took a bath in October. I in fact took many baths in October, much like in every other month, but in October I took a bath more important than other baths. And the fact that this bath was taken with Al Green is not what makes it important. Oh, no. This bath you see, was not only for the body but also for the cleansing of the spirit. Oh yes. Oh yes. I have joined the masses who have frolicked in the holy swimming pool. I am now a fully fledged mormon, and would like to strike all bad things I ever said about mormons and mormonism from the record without any questions asked. Thank you.
You do realize what this means? I have added an extention to my life, an eternal life that is to be lived within the confines of the Celestial Kingdom (if I'm good). In return for this, it seems I have had to give up what little joy I had in my life. Cigarettes and alcohol are no strangers to my lips, as is the opposite sex. Well. And my own gender as well. But I foolishly thought that went without saying, although I see now upon closer observation that it obviously doesn't. I know what you must be thinking. Mia - alcohol, tobacco and sucking face with random people = what? What is there left of the Mia we used to know and some of us falsely claimed to love (I'm on to you!!)? And frankly, Mia can't answer that. Because Mia feels like she never goes anywhere, does anything or knows anyone anymore. And Mia is naturally filled to the rims with gratitude over this. Because while finding God has certainly made me happy in some ways and all in all I am both grateful and happy with this turn of events, it really has anal raped certain aspects of my life. Has anyone else ever heard that myth of how the mormon church will friendship you into the fold, giving you so much to do and filling your life with new friends and activities? To that I say: HA! HA HA HA! There's at least one mormon myth whose unvalidity I can vouch for in blood. So this is where I stand at the moment. Because of the church I can no longer spend a whole lot of time with my friends because during regular hang out hours, they are usually partaking in satanic rituals such as the consumption of Budweiser and other diabolical products. And I have made no new friends in the church itself who are also banned from drinking fire water and the sharing of spit with people you have no intention of marrying. Which leaves me lonesome as a coyote. Oh well. I can try to take solace in the fact that I am a mere six months a way from jumping head first into the mormon abyss and taking a stab at being a Utard for awhile. Watch this space.