I have a genius new invention to tell you of. What it consists of I will have to get back to you on because I have no idea, but I can definitely say that somehow during my four hour diet I lost 4 lbs. It might be thanks to an innovative new exercise routine consisting of pulling out one's hair and rubbing one's hands together in a frantic manner whilst pacing the floor, I cannot say for sure. All I can say is, God is merciful ladies and gentlemen. Yes siree Bob.

The date however was, perhaps sadly, mostly free of comical disasters. I think we stayed within the range of your garden variety disasters such as my date showing up quasi-dysfunctional with the flu, him getting lost on his way to my house and almost making us late for the movie. We ended up being the oldest people in the auditorium, which was a kick in the groin to my youthful image. I somehow ended up being the old hag in the house that night. The rest of the auditorium was jampacked to the rafters with 14 year old girls who took great delight in giggling and chatting throughout the entire movie like a pack of prepubescent hyenas. I was thrilled.

For those of you not in "The Know", Iceland has this woebegone tradition that every show should have a ten minute intermission right smack in the middle of the movie. This, I've concluded, is not good. This forces otherwise happily quiet people to talk to one another. That gives one of them a chance to accuse the other one of being quiet, which then puts the "quiet person" on the spot and they have to come up with some boring nonsenes to talk about (which is impossible when you need to) or sit there and squirm while the accuser decides the quiet one finds them to be a let down. I am of course speaking entirely in hypotheticals here, of course. The aforementioned scenario has no correlation to what happened on my date whatsoever. I just wanted to add this to throw you off my scent.

To avoid any misunderstandings that might damage my image however, I would like to casually add that were this not a hypothetical situation, I would be the quiet one and not the accuser. Just to make that clear. Were it not a hypothetical situation. Which it was.

The biggest disappointment of the night was not being able to score my much desired good night tonsil hockey match. My date had picked me up in a g-darn Hummer, and for those of you who have not ridden in such a monstrosity, there is a desk between the driver and the passenger the size of a coffin. This limits the chances of casually leaning in for a kiss, since you'd have to travel a great distance to actually get within spit swapping distance of the driver. I think he might have found it a bit obvious if I'd suddenly thrown hiking boots on and started making my way across the behemoth divide, using ropes and ladders to assist myself along the way. Kind of takes the surprise element out of things, I suppose.

But all in all, minor disasters and inconvenient transportation aside, I think the date went well. Who knows, maybe somewhere down the line I'll get to enjoy the pitter patter of little helicopter pads around the house. And they say I'm not an optimist!