Lights blinding my eyes...

Well, it's official. Wonders never cease. For the first time since the Reagan administration, I am going out on a Friday night. This surprise outing miraculously coincided with the day I went to the mall and bought a new "going out" outfit. Fate and luck are holding hands it seems and one can only wonder what disaster this could be leading up to. Were one so inclined to believe that disasters lurk around every turn. I'll give you three guesses as to whether I am so inclined.

There is nevertheless an element of bad luck (AHA!). I got my period a day early for some reason. This is inconvenient for no unmormonial, fornicatorial (I am the wordsmith) reason. It's just simply harder to get down with the get down when you're bloated and bleeding. On the upside however, the faint scent of blood might attract the hardcore hunters. Am I right or am I right? Or am I gross?

Something in the back of my mind told me that drinking vinegar would get rid of the bloated stomach. I was stopped short of drinking the vinegar, by my parents who seem to think that the consumption of vinegar in large portions can lead to something horrible which was not further explained. Pat says "you'll die". Well! That's quite dramatic and everything, but I myself am inclined to doubt that. Well. Moreso that my death would be directly caused by the vinegar, that is.

I do actually have tons of things that deserve to be written about on these here respective pages, but it's time to glam myself up for the big night out. I'll report back tomorrow, in a daze from my imaginary hangover, wondering whose underwear I'm even wearing.

Lights blinding my eyes...